In this summary of “The 4 Agreements”, from Miguel Ruiz, there is information that could change your life; especially if you consider that we have been programmed to think, feel and act in a certain way (based on our beliefs or based on numerous rules that govern society).
Many live on automatic pilot, or sacrifice their happiness for fear of being rejected or excluded on an individual, human, social, or existential level.
If you consider that you are a victim of negative beliefs, or feel that they suffocate you and prevent you from leading a full life, you should read the book “The four Agreements”, from the renowned author Miguel Ruiz.
A great personal growth guide
Although it is quite short, not everyone has time to sit down and read this self-improvement book exclusively and carefully.
If you are one of them, we invite you to read this practical summary with some ideas from the book of The 4 agreements, since its content could bring you closer to that personal independence with which you dream so much.
Michael Ruiz part of a revealing idea: and that is that when we are children we do not have the possibility of choose our own beliefs.
Consequently, the beliefs that shape our being are imposed by our parents or caregivers. This is what the author calls “domestication”.
What do you mean by that term? Basically, it alludes to an imminent truth: the greatest sources of learning for children are their homes, schools and the media.
punishments and rewards
As they grow up, children face the figure of punishment, since in the opinion of their parents, it is crucial to avoid bad behaviors.
On the other hand, they also become familiar with the figure of rewards, in order to reinforce those actions that they consider appropriate or correct.
And although at first glance this seems to be normal, the truth is that Michael Ruiz I think it is totally counterproductive.
Because? He explains that the children’s actions are based on complacency, since they are afraid of being punished if they don’t act that way. And they literally grow with that! limiting belief!
So, once they mature and are able to make their own decisions, they are often based on a belief system that is mean, as well as some rules in their environment that might be wrong (and this all caters to the “domestication”).
Therefore, Michael Ruiz points out that people must look within themselves and overcome the fear they have grown up with, if they really want to experience true happiness.
Summary with practical ideas of “The 4 Agreements”
Today we would like to present you with a summary of “The 4 agreements”; the same ones that could direct you towards full and true happiness.
The york university has reported that this may be “A useful book for stress management and personal growth.”
If you would like to transcend, feel free and build the life of your dreams, we invite you to read until the end.
1. Be impeccable with your words
Regardless of the language in which they are expressed, words indicate our intentions and our way of being. Therefore, andThis agreement exhorts us to be impeccable with what we say.
The word has incredible power. It literally has the ability to hurt and heal. At the same time it can be edifying or lapidary, and for this reason we must speak with great care.
As if that were not enough, you can influence the lives of others only with what you speak: for better or for worse, and that implies a great responsibility.
In this first part of the summary of “The 4 agreements”, you will learn to be impeccable with what you say.
As? Don’t use your words against yourself and focus on giving them a positive connotation.
Make your words sprout from self-love and help you get rid of those fears that have instilled in you since you were a child. Change the programming of fear for that of love.
Believe it or not, the love you express with your words becomes reciprocal, and consequently, the comments of others begin to lose relevance.
Also, if you start to be impeccable with your words, you will be able to take responsibility for your actions, and you will even think twice before offending someone else.
the word is powerful
Let’s take the example of a father coming home tired after a long day at work.
Suppose that as soon as you open the door, your son approaches you with a drawing in his hand, but he, in the midst of his fatigue, responds with a word of reluctance, irritation, or disinterest.
In essence, if the reaction is negative, and his words are not impeccable at the time, that little artist’s dreams could be shattered.
If you internalize the great power of this first agreement, you could begin to change your thoughts and strive to make your words uplifting and not destructive.
From this agreement derive the others; so this should give you an idea of its importance.
2. Don’t take anything personally
This agreement will help you stop paying attention to the opinion of others. If you stop taking things personally, you will start to vibrate in a better tune.
Michael Ruiz consider that the opinion of third parties has nothing to do with you, since they are rooted in their own beliefs.
Also, the words we receive are just that, words. It is up to us to give them the meaning we want, so that they do not affect, demolish or harm us.
Ruiz argues that taking things personally is equivalent to believing that everything revolves around us, and that is a great expression of selfishness.
The first agreement protects us from ourselves, (by being careful with our words), while this second agreement protects us from the words of others.
For example, if a person makes a negative comment about your physique, their opinion will be based on their own beliefs and not on your current appearance.
Avoid taking that comment personally, even if it is said in an insulting way or face to face.
If you manage that the opinion of third parties does not cause you discomfort, and you turn this agreement into a habit of life, your self-confidence will depend solely on you and not on your environment.
When you discover what you are and what you are worth, external validation becomes irrelevant. Besides, you break up with that “domestication” of which we spoke at the beginning of the summary of “The 4 Agreements”.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Assumptions are usually the basis of the problems or dramas that we ourselves create in our minds.
When we assume something, we assume that it is totally true, and right there everything goes haywire. Don’t fall for it!
Miguel Ruiz puts it clearly: assumptions come from our beliefs.
Assuming that others act, or think like yourself, will cause you many disappointments; Especially when things don’t go as expected.
The key to breaking this pattern is very simple: put aside your assumptions and start asking the right questions.
By asking you will know the true intentions of others. Therefore, there will be no room for conflicts or misunderstandings.
This point tends to cause many couple discussions, since we assume that the other person knows us completely, or knows how we feel at all times.
But since this is not true, we often feel hurt when their reactions are not aligned with what we had in mind.
For example, if for Valentine’s Day you are expecting a great gift from your partner, a romantic dinner or many other attentions, and your partner does not meet those expectations, you will be disappointed.
It is best to ask him what his plans are for that day and let him know what you expect to receive; as well as ask him what he expects to receive from you. In this way everything will be clear and you will avoid unnecessary assumptions.
And no, it is not about killing romance and that there are no surprises in the relationship. It really is about having assertive communication and putting aside the assumptions that cause us so much damage.
4. Always do your best
We have reached the last part of this summary of “The 4 agreements”, and according to the author, this is ideal to put into practice the three previous ones.
It is true that not every day we have the same motivation to fulfill everything we set out to do, but even so, you must give your best effort in everything you do.
However, you have to face this very carefully so as not to fall into excesses that could harm you.
Giving your best effort could be very challenging. If one day you feel very tired, or even sick, and you try to push yourself, you will deplete your energy and take longer to achieve your goals. And if, on the contrary, you do less, you will be wasting your potential.
But in general terms, if you give your best in the different situations that come your way in life, you won’t give way to remorse or guilt.
Simply, you will have the certainty that you did the best you could at that moment and you will feel satisfied for having given your best without expecting anything in return.
And this point has to do, again, with the “domestication” that we mentioned in the first part of the summary of “The 4 agreements”.
find a balance
Many people work solely for the reward of salary; but since this is their only motivation, they end up developing a resistance to work.
These people do not give their maximum effort, since they only focus on doing the minimum that is within their reach, as long as this allows them to receive a biweekly or monthly payment.
Instead, people who try harder, and see their salary as a bonus, end up achieving more than they thought. The idea is to enjoy what you do to live a full and happy life.
This is the most difficult agreement to achieve because you have to find a balance. If you exceed your potential, you’ll expend a lot of energy and feel drained, and if you live to the bare minimum, you’ll likely experience continual guilt.
In short, you must give your best in every situation in your life, and work because that lifestyle makes you happy, instead of doing it for something in return.
How to be totally free according to Miguel Ruiz
Miguel Ruiz also emphasizes the freedom of being. He thinks you should break with the “domestication” to end those fears that submerge your inner child in the dark.
To achieve that goal, he recommends following these steps:
- Recognize the fears that are in your mind so that you begin to live your life with new beliefs.
- Forgive those who hurt you to free yourself from those feelings. Forgiveness of yourself and others is part of the healing path.
- Prepare for death. When you become aware that that day will come, you begin to live every aspect of your life with absolute fullness.
Are you wondering who Miguel Ruiz is?
Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican author who is inspired by spiritualist texts to write transforming, healing and liberating guides.
Although he was born into a family of healers, he went to the city and managed to graduate as a surgeon.
However, after living a near-death experience, he devoted himself to self-inquiry and studying ancient ancestral wisdom.
In 1997 he published the book of Toltec wisdom“The 4 Agreements” And the rest is history. To date, it has been translated into 40 languages and more than 140 million copies have been sold.
Are you willing to put these agreements into practice?
Although we have shared a great summary of “The 4 agreements”, we would like you to try to read the whole book at least once in your life.
For many it has become a great tool for personal growth; while other people have learned to manage their emotions thanks to the wisdom contained in those pages.
If you find it difficult to control your impulses, you are overwhelmed by what others say, you are drowning in negative beliefs or you consider that you have been a victim of “domestication”it is time to know in depth “The 4 Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz. You are willing?
Continue reading: 31 Powerful Personal Beliefs That Will Change Your Life