Do you get mad when your partner pays attention to others? Do you want to peek at the screen when your phone taps or swipes on Facebook to see who likes your post? Do you call them every hour to find out where and who they are with? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it sounds like you have a tendency to be jealous.
Jealousy is part of human nature, and it’s perfectly normal to feel jealous from time to time. However, while a little jealousy can add zest to a relationship, there can be problems if you allow these feelings to take over every aspect of your life.
woman looking at her husband’s shoulder
Jealousy is rooted in insecurities and fear of loss. Most people experience jealousy in their relationships if they feel threatened by other people or if they feel that they are not good enough for their partner. Jealousy is accompanied by anger, hatred, paranoia and despair. This general emotion is so instantaneous that one cannot step back and assess the situation.
If you want to be a happier, healthier person, here are seven ways to banish the green-eyed monster from your life and relationships.
rate your relationship
First, look at your relationship and ask yourself some important questions: Is the relationship built on love, trust, and mutual respect? Is your partner honest with you, are you honest with him? Do you have any specific reason to believe they are unreliable?
You’re more likely to be overwhelmed with jealousy when you’re in an insecure relationship, so before focusing on finding ways to reduce jealousy, first ask yourself if your partner inspires confidence in him or her. If not, why not? If your partner motivates and fuels your jealousy, it will be difficult – if not impossible – to get over it.
It’s hard when you’re already emotionally connected to him, but if you ignore the signs that your partner is untrustworthy, or when you suspect cheating and want to believe he’s a good guy and make excuses for him, you’ll inevitably end up hurt. . Nobody should be in a toxic relationship, especially if it’s causing them emotional distress. So are they the kind of people you really want to be with?
Dig deep and find the cause
If your relationship is secure, strong, and stable, and you’re still jealous, it’s time to look at yourself and explore your own experiences. Have you ever been betrayed? Did your parents have infidelity issues?
Have you ever been cheated on by someone you love? People rarely make you jealous on purpose; instead, jealousy often stems from personal insecurities or past experiences that hint at new relationships.
When you feel the pain of jealousy, try to find the true source of it. Dig deeper, and when you identify an underlying issue (perhaps your parents’ infidelity), tell yourself that you don’t need this in your life and let go of the toxic feelings associated with it.
Once you’ve done that, take a moment to calm your emotions and start a new chapter.
Remember, the past is in the past, but the future is yours to create. If you are in a relationship, both of you should work to resolve your issues so that you can happily move forward together.
Build your self-esteem
Confident people don’t get jealous because they know they have nothing to be jealous about. Believe it or not, self-esteem works wonders when you break the jealousy habit. Set aside a little time each day to do things that make you feel good about yourself. This could be exercising, cooking, painting, reading, the options are endless.
Practicing happiness will help you get those insecure thoughts out of your head. Even better, happiness builds confidence, so all in all, it’s a great way to curb jealousy. If there is something specific that triggers your jealousy, find a new positive outlet for your emotions.
For example, if you get jealous every time an attractive person walks by your partner, instead of letting them add to your insecurities, appreciate their attractive qualities and then remember yours.
Instead of thinking about what you lack, think about what you have in your life: a good job, a loving partner, a nice nose… and be grateful for them! Appreciating and validating your many ways of being happy is essential to happiness.
Do things that build your confidence and challenge you to stop thinking about all the things that make you unhappy. Remember, confidence is a big change, so don’t get jealous and show your partner how awesome you are! The better you feel about yourself, the more loved you will be. The more you can trust your partner’s love for you, the less jealousy there will be in your relationship.
Stop comparing yourself to others
If you’re obsessed with comparing yourself to other people in your partner’s life, you need to get rid of it.
Asking your partner if they find their friend or co-worker more attractive, fun, or entertaining than you might make you jealous.
Don’t ask them to rank you higher than everyone else in their lives, just be glad you were such an important part of it. As mentioned above, this jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. Stop obsessing over other people in your partner’s life and don’t think too much about the little things other than doing things that make you feel good about yourself. This behavior doesn’t bother your partner, which is also a big setback.
Just because your partner sees something in you that you can’t see in yourself doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Stop trying to figure out how or why they might want to be with you, and instead try to be someone they love and respect every day. Glad you were together and trying to keep it that way.
believe in your partner
Trust is the backbone of every relationship, so trust what your partner tells you. It is very insulting for a partner to feel that their partner is always suspicious of what they say and do, and it can quickly become exhausting and unbearable. Think about how you would feel if you were questioned or questioned every time you independently went out or did something.
Learning to trust your partner and let go of feelings of jealousy can be difficult, and you may even initially distrust them out of sheer habit. But you have to find the strength to act like you believe them. In time, your actions will become your beliefs, and you’ll find it easier to get your partner to believe your words. Remember, if they lie to you, they are only kidding themselves. More importantly, life is too short to be paranoid and jealous.
Separate fact from fiction
Like other psychological problems, jealousy is driven by the destructive power of the imagination. The ability to create scenarios in your mind can be a powerful and powerful tool if you use it to your own advantage. On the other hand, if you use your imagination to develop complex situations, it can make you jealous, angry and paranoid, which is dangerous and can be emotionally damaging.
Imagination is often the only source of jealousy, and if you have a problem with jealousy, it’s easy to let your thoughts go wild. It’s important to step away from the stories you’ve created in your head and realize that just because you imagine something doesn’t mean it’s real or something that’s about to happen. you imagine.
couple sitting on the floor laughing
Suppose your partner gets home later than usual tonight. You start to think it’s because they had an intimate drink with charming colleagues. This plot will only annoy you, even if you have no proof that what you imagine is real.
When your partner comes home, you show apathy and indifference towards him in response to the fictional scenario you have created in your mind. In turn, they may become defensive and angry.
All those negative emotions surfaced simply because you assumed the worst. When you stop getting emotional about the things you imagine, you’ll take a big step towards regaining control and overcoming your jealousy.
Give your partner space
One of the biggest relationship killers is possessiveness. If you’re the jealous type, you probably don’t want your partner to spend time with other people because you’re afraid he’ll lie about where he’s going or who he’s met. To prevent this from happening, you can make excuses to be with them all the time or call to check in every twenty minutes.
Not allowing your partner space because you have a tendency to be jealous can be very damaging to your relationship. In fact, having your partner briefly restrained because you’re worried about what will happen if they run away not only highlights your insecurities, it also makes your partner yearn to break free of your possessiveness.
Rather than being a control freak, it’s important that you give your partner time and space to do their own thing. In return, their respect for you will increase and they might even want to spend more quality time with you.
Moving in this new direction can be difficult, but overcoming jealousy and learning to trust your partner is key to building strong, healthy, happy relationships. After all, why destroy loving bonds with negative thoughts and comments? Instead, build your self-esteem, learn to trust your partner, and be happy!