When Swedish singles are allowed to describe their dream relationship, fully 96 percent state that they want a relationship based on sincerity and trust. But even if you know what you’re looking for, it’s not always easy to know if you’ve actually hit the right spot match.com shares four tips from the relationship expert!
Jacqueline Joo, CBT therapist and dating coach at Match, shares four tips on how to best find out if you’re dating the right person. Although many people know what they are looking for, it can be difficult to know if you have found the right one when it really matters. Check out the four tips below!
What are you looking for?
Find out what you’re looking for even before you start dating. What kind of relationship are you looking to start? If you want a long-term, safe and trusting relationship, think about what those words mean to you. Do you want to feel trust and security already in the dating phase? Or are you looking for an exciting, intense and short-term relationship? Are you not ready to commit because you have feelings for someone else or are you afraid to take the plunge and get hurt? Research yourself, the clearer you are with yourself even before you start dating, the easier it will be to see if the person you are dating is really the right person for you or not.
Send out the right signals
A common myth in the dating world is that we think it’s taboo to talk about why we’re on a dating site and what kind of relationship we’re looking for. We think this might scare off the person we’re on a date with. But usually it’s quite the opposite! When you are not honest and dare to stand up for your own feelings and needs, you are not perceived as interesting and attractive. So tell us about where you are in life right now, what you long for and what type of relationship you are looking for and the reason for it. In this way, you are perceived as secure in yourself, which increases the chances that you will attract a person who has the same dreams, needs and goals as you.
Dare to weed out the wrong people
It’s easy to start compromising your own values and what you’re looking for once you’re attracted to someone you’ve met. It makes you start to adapt to the needs of the date and narrow down what it is you’re after. Maybe you don’t dare to express what you desire deep down – or you have done it, received an answer that the date is not looking for the same thing as you, but you hang on anyway? A big part of the dating process is learning to figure out what the person you’re dating is looking for – see if it matches your needs – and then ending dating relationships where it’s clear you want things differently. In this way, you not only save time and energy, you also grow as a person because it strengthens your self-esteem to make decisions that are in line with your values.
Do not give up
If you chose to leave a date that wasn’t looking for the same type of relationship as you, it’s easy to get a little down and think that you’ll never meet someone you feel the same way about again. But it is not true. You will meet your perfect match, as long as you allow yourself to mourn the date that never went anywhere and then recharge – and keep dating! If you feel that you have gotten stuck, it can be good to get help from a dating coach who can help you break your patterns.