A separation does not necessarily mean that one becomes more satisfied with life, writes psychologist Ann Gold Buscho in Psychology Today. Here are some factors that can determine how much happier individuals feel after a divorce.
Does divorce after an unhappy marriage actually result in more happiness? According to psychologist Ann Gold Buscho, the answer is complicated – but there are characteristics that increase the likelihood that a person will feel happier after a separation.
Not always a recipe for happiness
A 2002 American study found that unhappily married people who went through a divorce were generally no happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. After the divorce, symptoms associated with depression usually did not decrease, and, as a rule, the separation did not lead to higher self-confidence either.
However, the sociologist who carried out the study, Linda Waite, said that divorce or separation is likely to be the best option in marriages where there is abuse, abuse or repeated infidelity. She also noted that 81% of those who remarried were happier in their new marriages.
The characteristics that decide
What then determines how happy a person becomes after a divorce?
A study conducted by researchers at Kingston University in London points out that women generally feel happier than men after a divorce. According to Gold Buscho, this may be due to how women process their emotions:
“Women are more likely to seek help in the form of therapy and positive support from friends, and are less likely to use alcohol, drugs or sex to try to escape the pain,” she writes.
Gold Buscho also lists some qualities that she believes increase the likelihood that a person will feel happy after a divorce:
- An ability to compromise to resolve conflicts.
- A willingness to use therapy to process the experiences of marriage and divorce.
- Building a strong social safety net of friends and family you can trust.
- An ability to release anger by taking care of yourself and being able to forgive your ex.
- An ability to take responsibility for how one contributed to the end of the marriage.
- A realistic and optimistic view of the future, new opportunities and experiences.
